We Call It Love
by ItsMikaera
Summary: Edward falls deeper into his insanity, and almost meets his end. Luckily, there happens to be a certain musical Colonel there to save him and help pick up the pieces. What happens when the two hearts combine and begin to make sweet melodies? Ed x Roy Yaoi. More details inside at the beginning of the story.


**AN**: Hey guys! I'm proud to say I'm back on this site, and I'm happy to be posting this story again. For those of you who didn't know, I took it down because the way I had originally wrote it sucked. Instead of waiting until I rewrote all that I had up to post it, I decided to just post it as I do it because I hate waiting to share things. I hope you guys like the new and improved story! Enjoy! :)

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA, or any of it's characters. I also don't own most of the songs used in this fanfic. All rights go to their respective owners.**

**Story Title**: We Call It Love  
**Rating**: M, for swearing, bloody stuff, and possible sex scenes. Read at your own descretion.  
**Pairing**: Ed x Roy If you don't like yaoi, don't read this. Mentions of Al x Winry

_Italics _with " " around them indicate singing, music, etc. I'm sure you can guess from there through the context.

Line breaks mean there's a switch in the POV(point of view). The only POVs I'll use are Edward's and Roy's, so if I start out a chapter in Edward's POV then place a line break, any writing past the break would be Roy's POV. If I put another line break after that, it would be back to Edward's POV. Just don't confuse it with the line breaks I have before and after chapters to separate my author's notes and such from the rest of the writing.

**-o- **just means a change in time, place/scene, etc. Again, I'm sure you can guess through context clues. Usually I'll state what I'm jumping to underneath it in italics, though.

* * *

Chapter 1- Dark to Light

Waves of blackness met black, and crept on further to more black as he floated throughout his mind. There was nowhere for him to be, and even if there were a place he had no control over himself. Time seemed to drag along endlessly, taunting him and draining the last bits of hope right out of him. Somehow he was able to continue holding on minute by minute, though he had no idea how he could endure the madness for so long. Wasn't death supposed to be peaceful?

Out of no where, there was a light. It was a faint white, but there was no mistaking it was there. At a startlingly fast pace he was headed on his way towards it, but he wasn't sure he actually wanted to get there.(not that he had a choice) The closer he got, the light became brighter and more nothingness disappeared. God, it hurt his head to look at. He definitely was going to feel that later.

So close to the edge, yet so far away he was. Why couldn't he just get there already? The only thing keeping him sane was a voice. Maybe it was just in his head, but none the less it's deep, singing sound helped him keep his calm. Pain filled his head further, and spread to his other limbs as he arrived at the edge. All he had to do was jump off of it, and he was sure that after that he would be where he was meant to be.

That beautiful singing grew louder, and he could actually make out a few words.

"_And I, I hate to see your heart break._

_ I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close,_

_ But I've been there before."_

One final thrust later, and he was there. Everything in his vision was pristine white, and it burned his eyes. All he could make out were masses of fuzzy blobs, and the voice he had heard was gone. Why did that make him so upset? After blinking his eyes a few times, his sight started to focus in. Slowly but surely he was starting to be able to make out different shapes, and even some objects. A few seconds later and the world was in perfect detail to his eyes.

White. There was too much white, and it smelled really funny. His eyes then fell to his arm, and sure enough there was an IV attached to him. Like a children's puzzle, he put it together piece by piece. God, he _hated _hospitals so much. What the hell happened?

"Ed, you're going to be alright..."

Anybody would know that distinct voice. Sluggishly he turned his head towards it, and he was right. It was no one other than _the _Colonel Mustang. Seriously, _what the hell happened?_

**-o-**

_Six days earlier..._

For thirty minutes he had been pacing around his room, fighting against himself. The urge for him to cut was becoming too great for him to handle, but he had promised himself he would stop cold turkey a week ago. It would be so easy for him to just take his blade out of it's hiding place and temporarily ease his pain. In mere minutes the damage would be done to his body and he would be on his way without a trace of guilt in his veins.

A few more paces later and he decided he couldn't take it anymore. He walked towards his bedside table, retrieved his handy tool from it's place, and headed straight into the bathroom that connected to his bedroom. Seamlessly he fell into the oh-so-familiar routine, locking the door, sitting himself upon his toilet and lifting the sleeve of his shirt to reveal his pale flesh arm. Holding the razor-sharp blade above his anxious skin, he took a deep breath and began to slice into it. Deep crimson blood quickly welled to the surface, and it made him crave for more. He _had_ to see more blood.

As if in some sort of trance, he continued sawing lines up to his elbow, each cut becoming deeper than the last. Oh, how he had missed the sight of his own blood. Who knew it could be so desirable? For the last cut, he beckoned the blade to bite a little more and chew a little deeper. He didn't care if he died or not, he _needed _it to do so. Maybe, just maybe it would send him straight to the morgue. After all, he didn't really have anything to live for anyway. He was just an empty shell of useless, ugly skin and bones. That last line went horizontally across all of his other cuts; a direction he had never cut before.

Blood flowed from his arm, dripped to the floor, and warmed his being. Hopefully death would finally bring mercy to his soul, since that was where he was most likely headed. Before he knew it, consciousness ebbed away from him and he fell into what he hoped would be a peaceful, deep sleep.

* * *

"Do you know where Fullmetal's at? He's late with his work. _Again._" the great Colonel Mustang questioned First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye.

"I'm afraid not."

"Well, that settles it then. Hold down the fort while I go pay him a visit!"

"Yes, sir!" The blonde kept one hand on her gun as a gentle reminder that he still had a mountainous pile of paperwork he needed to complete, and that she would make swiss cheese of him if he hadn't finished it by the end of the day. Couldn't she give a guy a break every once in a while?

With that said and done, he raised himself from his old cushioned desk chair, heading swiftly out of Central Headquarters. From Central to his subordinate's living quarters wasn't far, so he decided against taking his car and continued walking. Why waste gas on such a beautiful day? Not a single cloud was in the sky, a light breeze drifted throughout the air, and the colors of fall littered the earth. It was perfect.

On his stroll he passed buildings decorated with scarecrows and pumpkins, along with people merrily going on with their daily lives. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he almost forgot to stop at the complex Edward lived in, but he remembered just in time. For a moment he paused so he could remember what the teen's apartment number was, but that wasn't hard to recollect in his mind. He knew everything about him, just because he cared.

Stopping at the door, he lightly rapped on the door and waited. Ten minutes passed and no one had answered the door, so he took to knocking on it again. There was still no response, which caused him to worry some. Fullmetal _always_ opened the door, and if not he yelled that it was open. Maybe he was busy, but then again what would he possibly be doing if he were? Once more he tried knocking, but to no avail.

On his gut instinct, he jiggled the old, rusted doorknob a little. It was unlocked, as was typical for his subordinate. He did hesitate intruding in his home, but he needed that paperwork to save his butt _and _he had been concerned about the teen lately. Something had definitely been bothering the boy for a while, but what? The only thing he picked up on was his depressing aura and faked smiles.

Inside the apartment he went, and he wondered around looking for Fullmetal. The place was extremely small, so he had to be somewhere. After thorough circle around the living room and kitchen area, he entered Edward's bedroom. Quite clearly he wasn't there, not even under the mountain of bed covers, so he tried looking in the very last room available though he doubted he would find the boy. In front of the bathroom door he was, but there was a problem. The door was locked, so he settled for knocking on the door.

"Fullmetal! Open the door, would you?"

Yet again there was no response, but he thought he figured out the problem. The scent of blood touched his nose, and there was no mistaking it, what with him having had to deal with injured people in wars. Panic settled through him, and then he remembered that freaking out would do no good. Quickly, he backed up as far away from the door as he could, aimed his shoulder towards it, and rushed as hard as humanly possible against it. That was definitely going to leave a mark, and he was going to have to buy the blonde a new door, but it was worth it. The door ended up being more fragile than he had originally thought, so he stumbled a bit but quickly regained his balance.

Right there in that moment, his worst fears were confirmed. His subordinate was unconscious on the toilet, losing blood quickly and was on his way towards dying. Of course he hadn't failed to notice the cause of all of it. The blonde held a bloodied razor blade in his automail hand, and the blood was coming from his arm. It didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened. Edward had tried to kill himself. Why?

Acting fast, he opened up the cabinet below the sink and fortunately there was a small medical kit, which the boy probably used to bandage up his cuts in the past. At the very least he knew how to bandage wounds to help stop blood flow, and so he did just that. Pulling a towel off the rack outside the shower stall, he used it to soak up the blood on the blonde's arm to he could further see the extent of what he had done to himself. Underneath all of the blood were horrifyingly deep wounds, and it upset him thought he already knew that was what he would find. Why did he do that to himself? Why?

Moving on, he opened the medical kit. Inside it contained white bandages, peroxide, butterfly stitches and band-aids. Without missing a beat, he went for the peroxide and poured it over Fullmetal's wounds. Following the peroxide came the bandages, of which he wrapped snugly(but not too tightly) around his arm. It was all he could do to the best of his knowledge in the rush of it all, and so he got to scurrying. One arm went around the boy's upper body, and the other behind his knees in a tight death grip to keep him steady. Luckily it was easy for him to carry the younger since he was so light.

Who knew it was possible to run faster than the speed of light? At least, that's what it felt like he was doing. He made it back to Central and into his car in no time. As he sped down the road he didn't give two flying fucks that he was breaking almost every common traffic law that existed. If the police wanted to arrest him for saving a life then he'd be damned. The normal fifteen minute drive only took seven, and he was on his way racing into the hospital's parking lot.

Parking at the very front, he didn't even bother to lock his car. He took Edward and ran for it yet again, straight into the hospital yelling "Hey! Somebody help him!". Instantly a couple nurses ran over and carried him away to be taken care of. From the very bottom of his heart he hoped that the teen would be okay.

Before taking a seat in the waiting room, he had a couple of things to take care of. First, he walked back out to his car, parked it into a proper place and locked it. The last thing he needed was for his car to be stolen of all things. Afterward, he fished out his cellphone from the inside pocket of his uniform's jacket and called Riza to give her a general idea of the situation.

"Lieutenant? Something came up and Fullmetal's not so okay. I'd elaborate but I don't really want to talk about it just yet. Basically, he's in the hospital and I need you to take over things at Central because I have to stay with him...I don't know how long I'll have to be gone. Sorry for the inconvenience."

"U-uh...yes, sir. I understand. I'll get right on that."

"Thanks." He ended the call, and place his cellphone back where it belonged.

Finally, he was able to go back into the hospital and take a seat. His brain hurt, and he wanted nothing more than to cry. Instead of crying, he settled on ignoring everything for a while until his subconscious was able to sink it all in.

Questions kept nagging at him the entire time, making it impossible to put to the back of his conscience. _Why?_ What kinds of things had been running through Edward's mind? How much pain was he carrying on his shoulders? For how long had he been cutting, and why did he decided to attempt suicide now? Why didn't the boy tell him of his problems? Did he not trust him enough to tell him? Why would someone as amazing as him _want _to die in the first place? _Why?_

To the best of his ability he tried to fight back the tears, but it was futile. They inevitably went streaming down his face, and there was no way he'd be able to stop them for a good while. Most of the time he acted like he didn't like Fullmetal, but no matter how much they argued he really did care. Maybe the blonde didn't see that. Maybe all of this was his fault because he never acted like a friend towards him. Yes, it was all his fault... There was so much he could've, -_should've _done that he didn't and that was why the teen had ended up like this. God, why did he have to be so stupid? Why didn't he confront his subordinate?

Interrupting his thoughts and pathetic crying he heard someone say "Um, sir? Sir?". He looked up to see a kind nurse trying to politely catch his attention.

"Oh, sorry."

"It's quite alright. I can imagine you have a lot to think about. I just wanted to let you know that they have Edward* all stitched up and mostly stable. You can go in to seem him if you wish, but he's still unconscious. Visiting ends at seven, and I believe the doctor has some things he wants to discuss with you as well."

"Thank you ma'am. Could you show me to his room?"

She signaled him to follow her, and not another word was said between them. On the way there he prepared himself mentally, for he didn't want to start crying again when the doctor began to speak with him. As simple as possible, the nurse just gestured yet again, indicating that he could go inside the room and left. Walking inside, he stood for a few moments looking at Fullmetal in the hospital bed.

Just as the nurse had said, he was unconscious, and his arm was wrapped in fresh bandages. What he didn't expect was for his subordinate to be restrained at the wrists and ankles, but then it occurred to him that it was probably for safety measures. Since Edward had tried to kill himself, they probably wanted to make sure that he didn't try it again or mess with his healing process.

That wasn't the first time he had seen Fullmetal in a hospital. The other time was when the boy had just lost his arm and leg. Of course, the Rockbell's place wasn't a hospital, but it might as well had been. At that time the blonde had been wrapped in bandages all around his torso, and he looked equally as sad. It really hurt him to see his subordinate hurt.

Now he found himself looking at the younger's features. When did he get so old? When did he get that tall? The years had really flew. No longer was he the young boy he had first met. Now he was an eighteen year old man. He walked closer towards the bed for a closer look, then decided he was starting to be a tad bit creepy. Grabbing one of the chairs that were placed against the wall, he pulled one up beside Edward.

Moments after he took his seat, the doctor came in and pulled up a seat beside him.

"Well, I'm Dr. Pierce, and there's a few things I need to know about Mr. Edward Elric here. If you don't mind, could you answer a few questions to the best of your ability?"

"Of course."

"Before I get too ahead, it is safe to assume that his injuries were intentional, correct?"

"Yes, as far as I know."

"Alright. How long has he been..troubled? Did he show any signs of his emotions, or were you unaware?"

"At least a few months now, about half a year. I noticed that the fire in his eyes was gone, and that he often would fake smiles, but other than that there was no way to tell."

"Mhm. Does Mr. Elric live alone, or with family? What is your relationship with him? Do you know when he started self-harming?"

"Fullmetal used to live with his brother Alphonse, his good friend Winry, and his aunt Pinako, but ever since Al married Winry he has lived alone in his apartment. I really don't know my subordinate that well, plus we aren't always on the best of terms, but I do care about him. A lot. As for the self-harming thing...I was unaware until now. I thought he had just chosen cutting as a suicide method."

"Okay. He _did_ choose cutting as a suicide method, but when we changed him into the hospital gown we saw scars littered all over his body. Usually with scars like that, the cuts had been made intentionally, and we thought that was a good assumption. Anyway, since you said he lives alone, when he wakes up and is released from the hospital it's probably for the best that he stays with someone. People in his state shouldn't be on their own, as they're unpredictable and you never know what they might do. Is there any way something can be arranged?"

"I never knew he was hurting that bad...that's horrible. Fullmetal can stay with me, for as long as he needs. I've got plenty of room at my place."

"That's perfect. When you're ready to leave, make sure to go up to the front desk and ask for a medical kit. It'll have everything you need plus instructions for taking care of his wounds."

"Sure. Have a good evening." The doctor offered his hand to him, and he shook it.

"You too."

Not even a moment later he decided it was time to leave for the night, and proceeded to place the chairs of which had been pulled out back in their places. As he passed by the sleeping teen he wished him to get well. Being one to do things properly, he stopped by the front desk as the doctor had told him too and received the things he needed. Some paces later he was back in his car. His first stop was to be the younger's apartment to gather some of his things, then he would got back to his place and set up the guest bedroom.

Arriving once again at the blonde's apartment, he stepped inside and got to work. First, he found a suitcase stashed away in the bedroom closet and filled it with the younger's clothes. There was no need to pack any toiletries since there were plenty at his place, but he did take the time to clean up the blood from the bathroom and put the soiled towels in a neat pile. Next, he searched the bedside table for anything Edward might want or need, such as a secret journal he might have kept or something. Going that far made him feel like he was snooping, but he kind of was. He ended up finding what appeared to be a single folded piece of paper, and written on the front was 'To Who or Whomever'. Feeling a bit deceptive, he decided to shove it in his jacket pocket and save it to read later.

The last thing he did was grab a couple of research books, papers, and journals of the teen's, then grabbed all of the sheet music off of the piano that was somehow squeezed into the corner of the living room. At his place he had a piano, because he himself was quite musical. He never knew Fullmetal was musical, too, though. Packing the rest of the things into the suitcase, he zipped it closed and rolled it out to his car. Once completed, he hopped back in the car and was on his way to his place.

Peacefully at home at last, he unlocked the front door and walked in with the suitcase in hand. Out of habit he kicked off his shoes, placed them by the door, and then proceeded to take his jacket off to hang it on the coat rack. He was too tired to bother setting up the guest room that night, so he left the suitcase by the door as well and headed up the stairs to his room. In there he took off his pants, threw them in the laundry bin, and hopped into bed for the night. Maybe, just maybe he could forget about everything that happened, even if just for a little while.

**-o-**

_Five and a half days later...(Back to the present)_

Edward had still not opened his eyes, and it was already halfway through day six of him being unconscious. However, everyday he visited the blonde for as long as possible just waiting to see those two golden orbs again. Sooner or later he was going to wake up, and he didn't want to miss it if he could help it.

Waiting did bring upon many emotions, but he did good in keeping them held back. Sometimes he sang when the nurses and doctor weren't around, and today he was in the mood to sing.

_"There is not a single word in the whole world,_

_ That could describe the hurt._

_ The dullest knife just sawing back and forth,_

_ And ripping through the softest skin there ever was._

_ How were you know?_

_ Well, how were you to know?_

_ And I, I hate to see your heart break._

_ I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close,_

_ But I've been there before._

_ And I, I hate to see your heart break._

_ I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close,_

_ But I've been there before."_

Music always got him so lost. He was so into the words he was singing he almost didn't notice the tear that slid from his eye and that Fullmetal was beginning to stir. Minutes later, the blonde lifted his eyelids to reveal the two golden suns he had longed to see. Edward blinked a few times more, and then he seemed to focus. He took the opportunity to say something.

"Ed, you're going to be alright..."

* * *

**AN**: Well, that's it for this chapter.

**Songs used**: "I Hate to See Your Heart Break" by Paramore


End file.
